Thursday, January 10, 2008

Hazy, but There

My childhood is kind of hazy to me. In all truth, sometimes I don't know how I remember the things I do.

Elementary School-
The first thing I can really remember is starting kindergarten at the age of five. I remembering leaving for school one day and looking back at my house to my little brother Gavin staring at me through the window. I could go on about my elementary days and tell you every elementary teacher's name. But I will spare you the time of reading and just get down to the parts that I don't want to remember. The parts that I had to live with for so long.

Growing up, I thought my mom and dad were happy. I never once thought anything was wrong in their marriage. The truth is, it was totally the opposite. My dad was controlling, mean, and an abusive drunk. I remember one night I got in trouble, he was going to spank me but I hid from him. He never found me. I saw him while I was hiding, his face was just pure evil. It was the scariest time ever.

Quick side note ... As I have told you, I am the oldest. My mom ended up having 7 children all together. After me came Gavin born on April 8, 1990. About 15 months after me. Then Kelton on December 17, 1991. Another boy came on September 29, 1994 named Caiden. I was the only girl at this point and wanted soo badly a little sister. I remember making wishes on the dandelions and blowing the seeds off the stem. Just wishing that my mom would have a little sister. I know it sounds crazy but boy did I get that wish come true. Not only did my mom get pregnant with a girl the next time...she got pregnant with twins...twin girls. It was so amazing to me. There names were Melesse and Leneisha. They were born on August 7, 1997. But I wasn't done getting my mom had another girl on December 13, 1999 named Aliyah.

So getting to my point. It was not only hard growing up for me but 6 other people also. As, the years went by and we all started to get older, things got worse with our dad. He became a totally different person.


Juice said...

Hey! I love that you are telling your story! I hope you don't mind that I read it.

I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents for a second. Our family story is similar in growing up afraid of your dad. I remember getting home late from school one time and my dad was standing at the top of the stairs waiting for me - I remember thinking that I was going to die! I also remember getting my butt beat blue and purple and hiding from him all the time!

But, after my mom divorced him - everything changed. I know at first my mom hated us visiting him. She said that we'd always come back angry - I don't really remember that. But, by the time I was in high school I LOVED to visit my dad. I'm not even joking that he became one of my best friends! I could tell him anything - even if it was controversial! I went to him about so much stuff - oddly enough especially about boys! :) He was so understanding...

My point is that sometimes - very rarely it seems like, but sometimes people change. I don't know that it lessens the prior hurt, but at least it can create new good memories.

I don't even know if you're dad is still around... I'm anticipating the rest of the story.